This is Part 5 of a 7-part series on ‘Hole In Your Sole’:
- Part 1 – Dustbin of the Mind (Article & Meditation)
- Part 2 – Healing Your Drama Triangle (Article & Meditation)
- Part 3 – The Confidence to Feel Your Feelings (Article & Meditation)
- Part 4 – How The Sensitive Personality Types Let Go (Article & Meditation)
- Part 5 – [You are here] What Do Other People Think? (Article & Meditation)
- Part 6 – The Power of Observe (Article & Meditation)
- Part 7 – Healing The Inner Child (Article & Meditation)
WE ALL WORRY about what others think of us. We all make decisions based on what we think we should be seen to be doing rather than enjoy who we are. From an early age we are programmed to be risk averse. Our parents constantly told us “No” as we were discovering our sensory world.
As adults we instinctively seek to protect our children from danger. We can though be a little too protective.
During a frustrating afternoon of trying to stop him poking at anything he could get his hands on, my son gave me a rude awakening. He retorted “It’s always ‘NO!’ Charles stop doing that! Charles stop it! I can’t do anything Mummy.” He was six years old ….and he was right! All he was trying to do was explore, to figure what works and what doesn’t. I relaxed enough and saw his reasoning and said to him “Charles I am going to trust you to explore and play with that safely. When you have finished put it away before getting the next thing out.” I was amazed at how this little person took it all in. He played very nicely, put the scooter back when he had finished and moved onto the next game in a very grown up fashion.
In worrying about what others think we get caught up in our inability to trust. We assume we are powerless and seek the approval of others in order to make sure any adjustments we make are absolutely right.
Many of us have lost our power to be wrong, to explore and experiment as a child does in order to work out what works and what doesn’t.
This is a very important part of our development and most of us are denied it. We therefore assume we always have to be right in order to avoid the embarrassment of being wrong.
You cannot drive forward if You’re focussed on what’s in the rear view mirror
Our dependent energy is something we’ve carried since early life. This is the part of us that resists change and feels uncomfortable if we’re asked to explore something different. This is what keeps us from pursuing life experiences and embracing change. It is also the part of us that has tremendous worries about what others will think if we do pursue our life passions.
Sensitive’s store more feelings around dependent energy than most and, by their very nature, are not thick skinned. However, our lives do change whether we like it or not. It is near impossible for a sensitive to live a life of compromise. At some point the drive to return to balance is difficult to ignore.
With this principle in mind, a sensitive starts to release their dependent energy through the heart chakra, which begins to balance, but also through the strong drive to reform any co-dependent behaviours. This is primarily through adjusting relationships and removing those that no longer work, even if it’s painful. These are romantic relationships, family ties and friendships. These adjustments will be around relationships that seek to manipulate rather than operate in good will and genuine esteem. Most people live in the past. They judge their present based on the past. If you were let down for instance, you’ll become suspicious in all areas of life expecting to be let down sooner or later.
Moving to the Confident You
Moving to the confident you and releasing fear around what others think starts with letting yourself live in the present moving forward, rather than identifying with the self of the past. Think for a moment about all the parts of your current life that are determined by your past. When we have the courage to adjust enough and release the worry about what others think, we live our own truth. For most sensitives the push into the confident self comes naturally. The drive to adjust is almost impossible to ignore, even though some will find it easier to embrace than others.
How Quickly You’ll Move to the Confident You Based on Your Life Code
To determine your Life Code add all the numbers in your birth-date together until you reach a single figure between 1 and 9. For example:
To calculate 14th May 1985 (14-5-1985) add 1+4+5+1+9+8+5 = 33, then add 3+3 = 6. This person’s Life Code is therefore 6.
Life Codes 3, 5, 8
You’ll find your progress stops and starts. You’ll plateau at times which is not actually a bad thing because it helps you consolidate your feelings. You’re comfortable with a pace that allows time for the understanding to sink in. Your intuition will have led you to ask the right questions and you find yourself in the right place at the right time to receive the answers. Your confident self will expand enormously and people around you will notice. Once you’ve moved beyond worrying about what others think, others will ask you continually for your help, assistance and wisdom. They’ll want a drop of your happiness.
Life Codes 2, 4, 7
As a sensitive you have no choice but to progress quickly. You’ll be keen to release the past and live in the present. At times, this will be very uncomfortable as your pace is faster than the pace Life Codes 3, 5, 8 experience. This will seem a little unfair to you as it will seem as if they get the easier ride whilst you’re consistently struggling with the pace of your emotions. This will settle down and your intuitive abilities will grow in a short period of time. Your decision making skills will sharpen and you’ll pick up information at a faster pace. As the confident self appears, worrying about what others think will completely evaporate for these Life Codes. Living your truth without hesitation then comes naturally.
Life Codes 1/10
The shift for the sensitive is almost impossible to avoid for a 1/10. This is because your life is centred around consolidating the energy of the physical and nonphysical so the two exist in peace within the physical body.
Life Codes 6 & 9
The shift to the confident self can be a scary process for these two Life Codes. They go through the energy of feeling they are alone in their journey. This is because they experience feelings in a more unique way; they are consistently processing the emotions of other people. Sensitives as a Life Code 9 normally get the blame for others misgivings. Life Code 6 find themselves as the support mechanism for several people even when they are going through uncomfortable times themselves. This means these two Life Codes are prone to storing other people’s emotions so, not only are they working through their own energy to get to the confident self, but also the energy of several others! They help others around them shift without even realising it. The move for these Life Codes to the confident self starts with deciding what is important in their life and sorting out the emotions of old relationships.
You are now ready for the meditation:
The Move to the Confident Self