According to a psychiatrist with a thirty year esteemed career, someone with my background should have numerous failed relationships, an addiction problem and spent time in a psychiatric unit.

I have experienced none of those instances, I have a long successful marriage, no addiction issues and I haven’t spent time in a psychiatric unit. Is that my fate or destiny?

Is something that happens in life fate or destiny? Is it predetermined or created by ourselves? Is winning the lottery for instance, someone’s fate or destiny? Is it something meant to be in their life or is the opportunity something they’ve created?

Think of life as woven with many threads, each representing choices, chances, and circumstances.

Among these threads are two paths in life – fate and destiny.

Fate: The Inevitable

Fate is derived from the Latin word "fatum" which means "that which has been spoken." In many cultural narratives, fate is the predetermined, unchangeable course of events. It's the script of life that we seemingly can't rewrite. For instance, Greek tragedies often highlighted the inescapability of fate, no matter how valiantly heroes might strive against it.

Fate is based on the idea there is a natural, predetermined, order in the Universe which cannot be changed no matter how hard we try. It’s the hand we're dealt.

Synchronicity

Fate is also linked to synchronicity, the mysterious coincidences too specific to be chance. The meeting of someone unexpectedly, the events that change our lives drastically, or the inexplicable feeling that something was “meant to be”, all can be seen as encounters with fate.

Destiny: The Journey of Becoming

Destiny, on the other hand, stems from the Latin "destinare," meaning "to make firm or establish." Destiny is not about an inevitable end but rather a potential waiting to be fulfilled. It's the beckoning of the future, nudging us toward our highest selves.

Destiny seems a lot more positive than fate. Unlike fate, there is an element of choice in destiny. Spiritually, destiny is connected to our life path. Where we choose to take responsibility for our lives, then we are shaping our destiny.

Interplay Between Fate and Destiny

To understand the dynamics between fate and destiny, we can imagine life as a river. The source of the river, it’s existence, where it merges with the ocean might be seen as fate. How we navigate the river – our decisions to paddle against the current, to let ourselves float, to avoid or confront obstacles – mirrors our destiny.

Think of the river as the unconscious, the ebb and flow, fate. The oar in which you use to steer your boat on the river of life, gives you the chance to direct your destiny.

Using this analogy means while we cannot change the river’s source or it’s eventual end, we can influence the in between. Recognizing this balance is empowering. It reminds us that though we might not control every external event, we always have a choice in how we respond.

Recognizing our destiny empowers us to actively shape our future, turning potential into reality.

 How To Fulfil Your Destiny

As long as you’re seeking to learn, grow and spiritually evolve, you are fulfilling your destiny but here are a few pointers to expand your capability:

Develop Your Inner World. Developing a relationship with your inner world can lead to increased self-awareness, emotional regulation, enhanced creativity, inner peace and better relationships. Developing your inner world opens the door to growth and profound healing, when the door to the inner world is closed, you become closed, and your destiny becomes determined by fate.

Chase Happiness Then Be Calm Once You’ve Found It. Happiness is subjective, what makes one person happy may not bring the same amount of happiness to another. Chasing happiness means you’ll continually look for personal growth, and a meaningful life full of connected relationships.

Expand Your Comfort Zone. Our biggest life changes come from bold decisions. Fulfilling your destiny can mean getting a little uncomfortable which means stepping outside of your comfort zone. Allow your intuition to guide you.

Find Positive Fellow Seekers. Seekers are those searching their path of deeper inner growth. Make it your mission to find supportive people who inspire you. When you listen to unsupportive people you can find yourself on the wrong path. Seek out kind, inspiring, people.

I believe the psychiatrist wasn’t a fatalist, he was a realist and that journey he would have predicted for me would have been a real possibility without me choosing my destiny. My choice was inner work and taking control of the forces that drive us, I didn’t leave it to fate.

Do you want to take control of the hidden forces that drive you? Take the Primal Question Quiz here to find out the one question driving your life.