When You Think You’re Better Off Alone

When You Think You’re Better Off Alone

You’re sociable, you like people . . . so why do you think you’re better off alone?

Audio Only Version of the Video Above:

The problem is emotionally immature people ruin trust. The issue is this leaves you nervous of other people's moods, your confidence sapped. It doesn't have to be like this.

During this 30 minute session you will learn:

  • Alone Patterns
  • Who Chases People Out
  • Accepting Love

​Please do your best to watch/listen to each part in order.

You’re sociable, you like people . . . so why do you think you’re better off alone?

Animals are more reliable than humans – right?  They’re predictable – you know what you’re going to get.

Humans are a different story. They make you feel nervous.  You want to connect, you want to be emotionally intimate . . .  but who can you really trust?

In this episode we’re looking at:

  • “Alone” patterns
  • who chases people out
  • accepting love

First of all...

You need to recognise “alone” patterns and where they come from.

Alone patterns are where you feel inwardly alone even when you’re surrounded by other people.

They often come from early life.

Consider if you were always allowed to freely explore and express feelings?  Or were you nervous to have your own identity because of your fear of other people’s reactions?

Were people in your life inconsistent? Were you nervous of what mood they’d be in?  Did you believe other people’s changing moods were somehow your fault?

If you felt separated from your own identity or you struggle right now to know what you really want - these are signs of alone patterns. You want to feel connection but you think you’re better off alone.

So, who chases people out?

Emotionally immature people come in all forms and are very common in life.

These are people who shy away from emotional intimacy.

You recognise them. 

It’s the father who hid behind reading the paper; the partner who was so keen at the beginning, and then ducked out on you.  It’s people who can never apologise, even when they’ve done something completely out of order.  People who tell you’re over-reacting for calling them out,  or who call you TOO SENSITIVE.

They have to be the centre of attention no matter what.

You start to believe that spontaneous feelings around them are somehow shameful, because they shuffle away from them. When you’ve tried to connect with these people, they’ve chased you out, so you have felt not only hurt but rejected - as though looking for connection is somehow really wrong.

Such experiences make it hard for you to trust again, and you think easier to be alone.

So how do you accept love?

You do so by allowing any of your own emotional immaturity to move to mature.

Emotional maturity comes when you allow yourself introspection and inner work: when you own your responsibility but not the responsibility of others.

You move to the space of observing rather than absorbing.

The more you feel comfortable with this, the more you feel it’s safe to connect, because you’re not expecting fulfilment to be the responsibility of the outside world.

So what are the steps you can take to step out of aloneness?

What I found I got sucked into for a long time was believing I had to be resentful of other people’s inadequacies.

It’s not true.  You don’t have to be resentful  - but also, you don’t have to forgive, if someone has wronged you.

It’s painful, but I found the quickest route out was not to assign blame, but to own the pain. Once I did that it was much easier to see clearly and to realise I didn’t have to lick my wounds alone.

Emotional maturity requires a state of empathy and self-awareness. This was not possible if I were always looking to assign blame and to wallow in being the victim.

So I decided to take charge of what I wanted, rather than expect someone else spontaneously to provide it. That left room for genuine connection.

I do understand - it feels much easier to be alone when you’re developing a higher sense of emotional maturity (your inner world attraction) because you seem to be surrounded by emotionally immature people.  But as you make changes, so does that change. 

So what are three little things you can do to move out of aloneness?

  1. Own your feelings.

This is how you’ll discover your emotional needs – the first step out of aloneness.

  1. Observe others emotional immaturity, rather than absorb it as your fault.

It’s tempting to analyse why someone rejects you but if you observe, you’ll see their fear of emotional intimacy isn’t your fault, it’s their way of being.  Emotionally mature people will communicate what the issue is – kindly.

  1. Realise that Soul Relationships start with yourself and lead to your true self.

That’s what the meditation for this session is for - it’s your fast track to your best self

Part 2:
Accompanying Meditation

Soul Directed Relationships Meditation

Give the Soul Directed Relationships Meditation a go, even if you’ve never done meditation before – just follow the words.

Complete The Meditation Now
Soul Directed Relationships Meditation
Part 2:
Accompanying Episode

Soul Directed Relationships Meditation

You’re sociable, you like people . . . so why do you think you’re better off alone?

Watch The Episode Now
Soul Directed Relationships Meditation
Part 3:
Are you ready to go deeper?

Get FREE Access Now To The

Orphan Archetype Workshop

When the Orphan energy is active, you wait for the rescue that never happened, you feel lost, don’t know where you fit in, you settle for less than you want and you desperately want to go ‘home’ but you don’t know where home is.

The Orphan energy chooses you to create the ultimate rescue, the connection to the self, beyond self-abandonment and into interdependence, the safe, secure world of true self-esteem and value.

Part 3:
Are you ready to go deeper?

Get FREE Access Now To The

Lover Archetype Workshop

When the Lover energy is active, your soul is at odds with your careful ego. You live a life switching between conquering fear, taking risks and the excitement of your consciousness expanding, followed by flopping back into the safety of what you know.

The Lover energy chooses you to connect with your personal source of power that’s not a climb for position or authority, not a power over another but real power - the power within.

Part 3:
Are you ready to go deeper?

Get FREE Access Now To The

King Archetype Workshop

When the King energy is active, your inner world is conflicted. Each time you step into your own rules, you hear the voice of the King’s shadow – the tyrant suggesting you are less than, how you’ll never live up to expectations and the weakling ‘prince’ who doesn’t protect your new path.

The solution is to step into the energy of the true King, the matured ‘male’ energy offering centred, confident direction from deep within. The unconscious pressure to ‘fit in’ evaporates as you step into your own leadership. .

Part 3:
Are you ready to go deeper?

Get FREE Access Now To The

Queen Archetype Workshop

You’ve looked around, decided what you like, made judgements and now you’re going out on your own. Does what you want match with others or should you just become what you think they want?

This stage is answered through the process of Creating Your Own Values, by using your Queen Energy.

Heidi Sawyer is an intuition expert whose online courses, mentorship programmes and events have helped 74,498 Intuitive-Sensitive People understand their sensitivity as their greatest asset. Heidi’s business has helped more than 5,000 Intuitive-Sensitives recover from emotional-trauma, understand their intuition as their very own super-power for managing difficult people, career enhancement and better relationships. Watch Philosopher's Journey webinar replay here.

Heidi’s book, Highly Intuitive People has been a consistent best-seller since 2015 providing Intuitive-Sensitive People with the map of their life path. Heidi’s business exists because she understands the loneliness of opening to your deep world, and strove to provide the service she wanted to receive. To learn more about Heidi Sawyer click here.
Love Your Life Show
Series 1

Beyond Self-Abandonment The Secret to Your True Self

When You Think You’re Better Off Alone

You’re sociable, you like people . . . so why do you think you’re better off alone?

Get The Full Experience:

Audio Only Version of the Video Above:

The problem is emotionally immature people ruin trust. The issue is this leaves you nervous of other people's moods, your confidence sapped. It doesn't have to be like this.

During this 30 minute session you will learn:

  • Alone Patterns
  • Who Chases People Out
  • Accepting Love

​Please do your best to watch/listen to each part in order.

Meditation Only:

You’re sociable, you like people . . . so why do you think you’re better off alone?

Animals are more reliable than humans – right?  They’re predictable – you know what you’re going to get.

Humans are a different story. They make you feel nervous.  You want to connect, you want to be emotionally intimate . . .  but who can you really trust?

In this episode we’re looking at:

  • “Alone” patterns
  • who chases people out
  • accepting love

First of all...

You need to recognise “alone” patterns and where they come from.

Alone patterns are where you feel inwardly alone even when you’re surrounded by other people.

They often come from early life.

Consider if you were always allowed to freely explore and express feelings?  Or were you nervous to have your own identity because of your fear of other people’s reactions?

Were people in your life inconsistent? Were you nervous of what mood they’d be in?  Did you believe other people’s changing moods were somehow your fault?

If you felt separated from your own identity or you struggle right now to know what you really want - these are signs of alone patterns. You want to feel connection but you think you’re better off alone.

So, who chases people out?

Emotionally immature people come in all forms and are very common in life.

These are people who shy away from emotional intimacy.

You recognise them. 

It’s the father who hid behind reading the paper; the partner who was so keen at the beginning, and then ducked out on you.  It’s people who can never apologise, even when they’ve done something completely out of order.  People who tell you’re over-reacting for calling them out,  or who call you TOO SENSITIVE.

They have to be the centre of attention no matter what.

You start to believe that spontaneous feelings around them are somehow shameful, because they shuffle away from them. When you’ve tried to connect with these people, they’ve chased you out, so you have felt not only hurt but rejected - as though looking for connection is somehow really wrong.

Such experiences make it hard for you to trust again, and you think easier to be alone.

So how do you accept love?

You do so by allowing any of your own emotional immaturity to move to mature.

Emotional maturity comes when you allow yourself introspection and inner work: when you own your responsibility but not the responsibility of others.

You move to the space of observing rather than absorbing.

The more you feel comfortable with this, the more you feel it’s safe to connect, because you’re not expecting fulfilment to be the responsibility of the outside world.

So what are the steps you can take to step out of aloneness?

What I found I got sucked into for a long time was believing I had to be resentful of other people’s inadequacies.

It’s not true.  You don’t have to be resentful  - but also, you don’t have to forgive, if someone has wronged you.

It’s painful, but I found the quickest route out was not to assign blame, but to own the pain. Once I did that it was much easier to see clearly and to realise I didn’t have to lick my wounds alone.

Emotional maturity requires a state of empathy and self-awareness. This was not possible if I were always looking to assign blame and to wallow in being the victim.

So I decided to take charge of what I wanted, rather than expect someone else spontaneously to provide it. That left room for genuine connection.

I do understand - it feels much easier to be alone when you’re developing a higher sense of emotional maturity (your inner world attraction) because you seem to be surrounded by emotionally immature people.  But as you make changes, so does that change. 

So what are three little things you can do to move out of aloneness?

  1. Own your feelings.

This is how you’ll discover your emotional needs – the first step out of aloneness.

  1. Observe others emotional immaturity, rather than absorb it as your fault.

It’s tempting to analyse why someone rejects you but if you observe, you’ll see their fear of emotional intimacy isn’t your fault, it’s their way of being.  Emotionally mature people will communicate what the issue is – kindly.

  1. Realise that Soul Relationships start with yourself and lead to your true self.

That’s what the meditation for this session is for - it’s your fast track to your best self

Where would you like to discuss the Article with me?
Part 2:
Accompanying Meditation

Soul Directed Relationships Meditation

Give the Soul Directed Relationships Meditation a go, even if you’ve never done meditation before – just follow the words.

Complete The Meditation Now
Soul Directed Relationships Meditation
Part 2:
Accompanying Episode

Soul Directed Relationships Meditation

You’re sociable, you like people . . . so why do you think you’re better off alone?

Watch The Episode Now
Soul Directed Relationships Meditation
Part 3:
Are you ready to go deeper?

Get FREE Access Now To The

Orphan Archetype Workshop

When the Orphan energy is active, you wait for the rescue that never happened, you feel lost, don’t know where you fit in, you settle for less than you want and you desperately want to go ‘home’ but you don’t know where home is.

The Orphan energy chooses you to create the ultimate rescue, the connection to the self, beyond self-abandonment and into interdependence, the safe, secure world of true self-esteem and value.

Part 2:
Ready for the next step?

Turn your sensitivity into your greatest asset.

What's coming next might just be the magical missing piece you've been searching for... (No crystal ball required, though they are pretty :) 

Every year since 2011, I've guided thousands of Intuitive-Sensitives through understanding and working with the unique energy patterns of each New Year. These transformative workshops combine ancient wisdom with contemporary neuroscience, helping soul seekers navigate their path with greater confidence and clarity.

Part 3:
Are you ready to go deeper?

Get FREE Access Now To The

Untangling Love’s Web: From Control to Connection

In this content-packed, free On-Demand Workshop, you will learn:

  • How to heal your "Projective Love Story" (idealised relationship fantasy) and stop control, dominance, and projection from ruling your relationships
  • Why spotting the "dominator" (control-driven behaviour) in yourself and others is key to breaking free from controlling dynamics
  • Simple ways to remove the dominator within and create healthy, respectful relationships based on mutual trust and understanding
Part 2:
Are you ready to go deeper?

Get FREE Access Now To The

Breaking the Hero Fantasy: Empowering Your Inner Self

In this content-packed, free On-Demand Workshop, you will learn:

  • How to heal from neurotic love and the rescuing patterns that stop you from achieving true connection
  • Why understanding infantile relatedness is the key to breaking free from unfulfilling relationships
  • How your subconscious beliefs have kept you stuck in rescuing dynamics—and what to do about it
Part 2:
Are you ready to go deeper?

Get FREE Access Now To The

Navigating the Emotional Abyss: Finding Stability Within

In this content-packed, free On-Demand Workshop, you will learn:

  • How to find stability and calm in the "Emotional Abyss" (feeling overwhelmed by emotions) by creating a strong emotional foundation
  • Why it’s important to reconnect with your inner self to stop emotional chaos from controlling your life
  • Simple, practical steps to build emotional resilience and regain control, so you can create healthy, lasting relationships

Even if you’ve been feeling lost or overwhelmed by your emotions, this workshop will guide you to a place of emotional stability and strength.

Part 3:
Are you ready to go deeper?

Get FREE Access Now To The

Magician Archetype Workshop

When the Magician energy is active, you have the ability to transform reality. It’s as though a magnetic field draws you to experiences that match your inner reality.

The Magician energy chooses you to connect with your healing potential and give you access to the unconscious world of wonderment, charm and the deeply connected spiritual self.

Part 3:
Are you ready to go deeper?

Get FREE Access Now To The

Lover Archetype Workshop

When the Lover energy is active, your soul is at odds with your careful ego. You live a life switching between conquering fear, taking risks and the excitement of your consciousness expanding, followed by flopping back into the safety of what you know.

The Lover energy chooses you to connect with your personal source of power that’s not a climb for position or authority, not a power over another but real power - the power within.

Part 3:
Are you ready to go deeper?

Get FREE Access Now To The

King Archetype Workshop

When the King energy is active, your inner world is conflicted. Each time you step into your own rules, you hear the voice of the King’s shadow – the tyrant suggesting you are less than, how you’ll never live up to expectations and the weakling ‘prince’ who doesn’t protect your new path.

The solution is to step into the energy of the true King, the matured ‘male’ energy offering centred, confident direction from deep within. The unconscious pressure to ‘fit in’ evaporates as you step into your own leadership. .

Part 3:
Are you ready to go deeper?

Get FREE Access Now To The

Queen Archetype Workshop

You’ve looked around, decided what you like, made judgements and now you’re going out on your own. Does what you want match with others or should you just become what you think they want?

This stage is answered through the process of Creating Your Own Values, by using your Queen Energy.

About Heidi Sawyer

If you are frustrated because you keep attracting difficult people into your life, the Love YOUR Life show will help. Fans of the show are ecstatic about the fun and entertaining way Heidi Sawyer brings you practical advice to help you recognise unhealthy dynamics and get your life back on track after being affected by controlling relationship(s).

Love Your Life Show

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