The problem is emotionally immature people ruin trust. The issue is this leaves you nervous of other people's moods, your confidence sapped. It doesn't have to be like this.

During this 30 minute session you will learn:

• Alone Patterns
• Who Chases People Out
• Accepting Love

​Please do your best to watch/listen to each part in order.

You’re sociable, you like people . . . so why do you think you’re better off alone?

Animals are more reliable than humans – right?  They’re predictable – you know what you’re going to get.

Humans are a different story. They make you feel nervous.  You want to connect, you want to be emotionally intimate . . .  but who can you really trust?

In this episode we’re looking at:

• “Alone” patterns
• who chases people out
• accepting love

First of all...

You need to recognise “alone” patterns and where they come from.

Alone patterns are where you feel inwardly alone even when you’re surrounded by other people.

They often come from early life.

Consider if you were always allowed to freely explore and express feelings?  Or were you nervous to have your own identity because of your fear of other people’s reactions?

Were people in your life inconsistent? Were you nervous of what mood they’d be in?  Did you believe other people’s changing moods were somehow your fault?

If you felt separated from your own identity or you struggle right now to know what you really want - these are signs of alone patterns. You want to feel connection but you think you’re better off alone.

So, who chases people out?

Emotionally immature people come in all forms and are very common in life.

These are people who shy away from emotional intimacy.

You recognise them. 

It’s the father who hid behind reading the paper; the partner who was so keen at the beginning, and then ducked out on you.  It’s people who can never apologise, even when they’ve done something completely out of order.  People who tell you’re over-reacting for calling them out,  or who call you TOO SENSITIVE.

They have to be the centre of attention no matter what.

You start to believe that spontaneous feelings around them are somehow shameful, because they shuffle away from them. When you’ve tried to connect with these people, they’ve chased you out, so you have felt not only hurt but rejected - as though looking for connection is somehow really wrong.

Such experiences make it hard for you to trust again, and you think easier to be alone.

So how do you accept love?

You do so by allowing any of your own emotional immaturity to move to mature.

Emotional maturity comes when you allow yourself introspection and inner work: when you own your responsibility but not the responsibility of others.

You move to the space of observing rather than absorbing.

The more you feel comfortable with this, the more you feel it’s safe to connect, because you’re not expecting fulfilment to be the responsibility of the outside world.

So what are the steps you can take to step out of aloneness?

What I found I got sucked into for a long time was believing I had to be resentful of other people’s inadequacies.

It’s not true.  You don’t have to be resentful  - but also, you don’t have to forgive, if someone has wronged you.

It’s painful, but I found the quickest route out was not to assign blame, but to own the pain. Once I did that it was much easier to see clearly and to realise I didn’t have to lick my wounds alone.

Emotional maturity requires a state of empathy and self-awareness. This was not possible if I were always looking to assign blame and to wallow in being the victim.

So I decided to take charge of what I wanted, rather than expect someone else spontaneously to provide it. That left room for genuine connection.

I do understand - it feels much easier to be alone when you’re developing a higher sense of emotional maturity (your inner world attraction) because you seem to be surrounded by emotionally immature people.  But as you make changes, so does that change. 

So what are three little things you can do to move out of aloneness?

1. Own your feelings.

This is how you’ll discover your emotional needs – the first step out of aloneness.

2. Observe others emotional immaturity, rather than absorb it as your fault.

It’s tempting to analyse why someone rejects you but if you observe, you’ll see their fear of emotional intimacy isn’t your fault, it’s their way of being.  Emotionally mature people will communicate what the issue is – kindly.

3. Realise that Soul Relationships start with yourself and lead to your true self.

That’s what the meditation for this session is for - it’s your fast track to your best self

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